How questioning “truth” opens doors to better actions, mindset shifts, and a more flexible life.
How Why Most “Truths” Are Just Starting Points
Listening to Derek Sivers read from his book"Useful Not True" on the Social Chameleon Show reveals how much of our daily thinking runs on autopilot. We often treat our beliefs as facts. “You can’t do that,” “That’s just how life works,” or “Nothing matters more than family”—these are phrases that sound like universal laws, but Derek Sivers points out, they’re just perspectives 05:21. They work like personal time zones: valid from where we stand, but not timeless or absolute.
He reminds us that almost nothing people say is necessarily true for everyone, everywhere. Instead, these beliefs are closer to tools. Some help us move forward, others keep us stuck. The question isn’t “Is this true?” It’s “Is this useful to me right now?”
The Power of Reframing
One of the simplest, most effective takeaways is reframing. Our first thought after any event is usually automatic and packed with old baggage. “That person is rude,” “I’ll never get this right.” Derek Sivers encourages us to challenge the first reaction. He describes this with the analogy of reframing a painting—don’t assume the frame you inherited is hanging the picture the right way. Take it out, turn it around, try new frames, and see what actually works.
This is more than positive thinking. It means actively looking for a perspective that helps you take useful action, rather than just searching for “the truth.” For example: Instead of saying, “I’m too old to try something new,” you could ask, “How might my age help me succeed in this?”
Beliefs: Tools, Not Identity
The show shines when highlighting the relationship between beliefs, emotions, and actions. Tyson Gaylord underlines this: Pick beliefs for the actions they spark, not for their accuracy (01:56:12). If a belief makes you freeze or pulls you backward, discard it. If a new one gets you moving and improves your life, it’s the right choice—even if it’s not “true” in the traditional sense.
This approach cuts through the anxiety we all feel, needing to be “right.” Instead, we’re free to experiment with mindsets like a carpenter trying different tools. Sometimes the imperfect tool gets the job done much better than holding out for a perfect, one-size-fits-all solution.
Breaking Free from Old Stories
So much of the pain we hold comes from stories we believe without questioning (28:04). Our memories, obligations, the meanings of our actions—they’re almost always colored by interpretation, mood, and culture. Derek Sivers uses examples from his own life and stories from around the world to show just how flexible these stories can be.
He invites listeners to notice how their first thoughts, their “old frames,” shape what they do. Then, try on a new perspective, one that’s more useful today—even if it means letting go of being right.
Simple, Not Easy: Putting it Into Practice
Changing your “truths” isn’t about lying to yourself. It’s about picking the perspective that unlocks action. Tyson Gaylord sums it up with a challenge:
- Spot the belief holding you back.
- Ask what action it creates—useful or not?
- Choose a new belief that aligns with the action you want.
This isn’t always comfortable. Your instincts will resist. Other people may try to argue you out of it. But, as both Tyson Gaylord and Derek Sivers stress, you don’t owe anyone proof. You owe yourself growth, peace, and the freedom to take action.
Final Thought
Your old beliefs don’t need to be “true” for you to change. Choose what’s useful, and start moving. Your mindset isn’t a prison—it’s a toolbox. Use the tools that build you the life you want, right now.
Enjoy the episode!
YouTube: youtu.be/iyXXt1DHyDQ
Show Notes: thesocialchameleon.show/Useful-Not-True
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Highlights From The Episode:
1. Whole Word Method vs. Phonics—And Why It Matters. I explain how the “whole word” (or 3Q) method left him memorizing word shapes instead of sounding them out. He didn’t struggle with simple reading, but every new or unfamiliar word felt like a wall. Ever wondered why you’ve tripped over a word you “should” know? It might be your school’s reading method, not you.
2. School Smarts Don’t Always Mean Reading Confidence Despite top test scores, I describe sweating through class reading, dodging book assignments, and depending on class discussions or friends to make it through. If you or your kids perform well but freeze on reading tasks, you’ll find a lot that resonates here.
3. Tools Aren’t Cheating—They’re Pathways From Google pronunciation buttons to Kindle’s read-aloud feature, technology unlocked learning in ways old-school teaching never did. Today, I amn’t ashamed to use every tool at my disposal, and I encourage everyone else to do the same.
4. Ditch the Shame, Embrace the Curiosity. I spent years holding back questions and hiding challenges. I talk plainly about letting go of shame, asking for help, and even practicing reading out loud (yes, on the podcast!). The shift? Stop clinging to stories like “I can’t read.” Start choosing and practicing new beliefs.
5. The Hidden Upside: Listening as a Superpower. Not reading forced me to build sharp listening and conversation skills. I wasn’t reading; however, I was paying attention, and that ended up shaping how he learns now.
✨ Legendary Weekly Challenge ✨
Catch your first thought:
Find one belief that’s holding you back right now. Notice how your mind tries to tell you it’s a solid fact. Remind yourself, it isn’t.
Strip away the truth:
Stop judging whether the belief is accurate or not. Focus on what result it actually creates for you. Does it make you hesitate or freeze? If so, recognize this belief as just a tool—one you can set aside.
Choose your perspective:
Pick a new belief, not based on truth, but on the action it creates. For example, if you think “I’m too late to start,” flip it: “Waiting gave me an advantage—I learned what not to do from others.” You aren’t lying to yourself. You’re just selecting a tool that actually helps you move forward.
The bottom line: If a belief helps you take action, it’s the right one for you right now.
Go put this into practice and see how it changes your mindset and momentum this week!
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
Derek’s Books
On The Time Ferris Show
- Derek Sivers, Philosopher-Entrepreneur — The Greatest Year of His Life (#777)
- Derek Sivers on Developing Confidence, Finding Happiness, and Saying No to Millions (#125)
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