From Rock Bottom to Recovery: Rethinking Addiction with Retired Federal Judge Mary Beth O'Connor | Ep 112
Mary Beth’s Story On Building a Legendary Life After Addiction
Think of recovery and personal growth like planting a garden.
At first, you might just see a patch of neglected dirt. Maybe it’s dry, maybe it’s full of weeds, or maybe it’s been ignored because past storms made it hard to care for. One day, you decide you want a change—you want to grow something new. You could follow one standard gardening manual, but what if your soil is different, or you have a unique set of plants in mind? Mary Beth’s story is about realizing you don’t have to stick to just one “garden plan”—you can mix and match seeds, adjust your watering schedule, or add a new flower row if you like how it looks.
The beginning is messy. Sometimes a seed doesn’t sprout, or a plant wilts, but if you keep trying, asking for advice, and being honest about what’s growing and what’s not, your garden starts to look more like the one you imagined. Maybe you invite your friends over; some give helpful tips, while others just say, “Why didn’t you use roses like everyone else?” But you learn to filter out the advice that doesn’t fit your garden’s needs.
Over Time
As your plants take root and bloom, you realize a) you needed to address the rocks and weeds beneath the surface (like trauma or anxiety), and b) your gardening plan constantly evolves—the same way a recovery or self-improvement journey changes over time.
In the end, your garden is thriving—not because you followed one “right” plan, but because you paid attention to what you needed, took honest inventory, tried different tools, and let yourself grow in your own way.
So whether you’re tending to a garden, building a legendary life, or navigating recovery, remember: Your patch of life is unique, and it’s okay to try different paths, pull some weeds, plant new seeds, and celebrate the flowers along the way!
Enjoy the episode!
YouTube: youtu.be/bOrFIJRWPgM
Show Notes: TheSocialChameleon.Show/mary-beth-oconnor
You can listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Castbox, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, Audible, Substack, or your favorite podcast platform.
Highlights From The Episode:
✨ The Real Story Behind Addiction
- Mary Beth opens up about her very first positive experience with alcohol at age 12, framing addiction as a “solution” to pain—not just a problem to fix. She emphasizes how for many, substance use starts out as a way to cope with trauma or mental health disorders.
✨ Recovery Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
- If you think there’s just one right way to get sober, think again! Mary Beth discusses the importance of individualized recovery plans and advocates for secular programs, such as LifeRing, She Recovers, and Women for Sobriety. Her message: “What works for one, doesn’t work for all.”
✨ Honest Self-Assessment & Spectrum of Substance Use
- Tyson and Mary Beth discuss the idea of self-assessment: Are you really just a “social drinker” or is your use affecting your life? Mary Beth offers tools like online diagnostic questionnaires, and encourages honest self-inventory—even for behaviors beyond substances (think: phone addiction!).
✨ The Hard Truths About Relapse, Moderation & Stigma
- Recovery is rarely a light-switch moment. Mary Beth candidly shares that her early journey included slips, and explains why most people don’t “get it right” the first time. She challenges the notion that you must always identify as an “addict”—it’s about what empowers you.
✨ What Really Helps: Compassion > Tough Love
- Spoiler: TV-style “tough love” interventions don’t work for most. Mary Beth recommends supportive, evidence-based approaches (like CRAFT) for families, and highlights the lasting effects of trauma on addiction risk.
✨ Building A Legendary Life, One Step At A Time
- Whether you’re early in recovery, supporting a loved one, or simply looking to live more intentionally, Mary Beth reminds us of the power of continuous learning, honest reflection, and finding purpose by giving back.
We all have habits and coping mechanisms—some obvious, some hiding in plain sight. As Mary Beth O’Connor explains, “The substance isn’t the problem, but it’s helping me live a life that’s not actually the happiest and best life that I want to live.”
Meet Mary Beth O'Connor
Mary Beth has been sober from her methamphetamine use disorder since 1994. She is also in recovery from abuse, trauma, and anxiety. She wrote about her story in her award-winning memoir From Junkie to Judge: One Woman’s Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction.
Mary Beth is a Director for She Recovers Foundation and for LifeRing Secular Recovery. She is also on the Advisory Council for The Hyer Calling Foundation. She regularly speaks on behalf of these organizations and about multiple paths to recovery. This includes television, radio, conferences, podcasts, and recovery houses. She develops relationships with other organizations, such as Women for Sobriety, and trains attorneys, judges, and medical professionals.
Mary Beth regularly writes opinion pieces that have appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, Philadelphia Inquirer, Recovery Today, and other publications. Her memoir writings have been published in Memoir Magazine, Awakenings, and Ravens Perch, among others.
Professionally, 6 years into her recovery, Mary Beth attended Berkeley Law. She worked at a large firm, then litigated class actions for the federal government. In 2014, she was appointed a federal Administrative Law Judge, from which position she retired early in 2020.
Mary Beth's Story
For Mary Beth, childhood abuse and other traumas led to substance use disorder (addiction).
Beginning with alcohol at age 12, she spent several years abusing various drugs. She found methamphetamine at 16 and started shooting up at 17. Mary Beth struggled with meth until she was 32 years old.
By incorporating ideas from multiple sources to build a secular (not 12-step or faith-based) recovery plan that works for her, Mary Beth has been sober since 1994. She used similar techniques to address the trauma and related anxiety as well.
Mary Beth is a board member for LifeRing Secular Recovery and She Recovers Foundation. She is on the Advisory Committee for The Hyer Calling Foundation.
Mary Beth speaks on behalf of these organizations, about multiple paths to recovery, and about all topics related to substance use disorder and recovery. She also speaks about sexual abuse and rape, child abuse, domestic violence, PTSD, anxiety, and recovering from these as well.
Mary Beth's award-winning memoir, From Junkie to Judge: One Woman's Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other sites, and at your local bookstore. She has also placed essays in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, and Recovery Today.
Professionally, 6 years into recovery, Mary Beth attended Berkeley Law. She worked at a large firm in Silicon Valley, then litigated class actions for the federal government. In 2014, Mary Beth was appointed a federal Administrative Law Judge, a position from which she retired in 2020.
As A Writer
Mary Beth’s award-winning memoir, From Junkie to Judge: One Woman’s Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction, describes the child abuse that led to teenage methamphetamine addiction, the chaos of that addiction, and her early recovery. Plus, how she became a judge! She also publishes op-eds, such as in the Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Recovery Today. Mary Beth’s memoir writings have appeared in Memoir Magazine, Awakenings, The Noyo River Review, Fault Zone, Carry the Light, and Ravens Perch. She speaks about addiction and recovery, such as on television, radio, and podcasts, and at conferences and other events.
Visit JunkieToJudge.com
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Mary Beth’s Book
From Junkie to Judge: One Woman's Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction
Mary Beth O’Connor survived a neglected childhood and years of abuse before spiraling into a 16‑year meth addiction. At 32, she was court‑ordered into rehab and rejected the traditional 12‑step model in favor of a secular recovery plan built on personal responsibility and peer support. Over the next three decades, she maintained sobriety, earned her law degree, and served as a federal judge. Her journey demonstrates that even the deepest lows can serve as the foundation for lasting transformation.
✨ Weekly Challenge ✨
Take an honest look at your habits, whether it's substance use, like alcohol or cannabis, or even behaviors like scrolling on your phone. Mary Beth O’Connor recommends sitting down and evaluating both the positive and negative impacts these behaviors have on your life. The idea is to conduct a genuine, honest assessment: Are you engaging in these behaviors in the way you want, or are they interfering with your goals or preferred lifestyle? After your self-reflection, consider creating a new plan that better aligns with the life you want to live.
Here’s how she put it:
“Since most people do use substances of one kind or another, or if you don’t, then perhaps you’re using things like scrolling through your phone or other sort of behaviors—to maybe just sit down and do an analysis about what are the positives and negative impacts in your life of that behavior. Do your best to do an honest assessment and then think about, am I doing this behavior at the rate or in the way that I want, or maybe make a new plan that’s going to suit your preferred lifestyle better, fit your goals better, that kind of thing.”
Take stock of your habits, be honest about their role in your life, and, if necessary, adjust your plan to support your well-being and personal goals.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
What’s A Drink Chart
Addiction Test | The Addiction Test is for people who are concerned about their use of alcohol, drugs, or other behaviors.
DIY Tools | Find apps, worksheets, and other tools to improve your mental health on your own.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)
- Mary Beth references the DSM as the standard manual used to define and categorize mental health and substance use disorders; she encourages listeners to look up the substance use disorder criteria online.
- psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm
- Educational Resources
- DSM-5 Fact Sheets
- DSM-5 Online Assessment Measures
Women for Sobriety
- Mary Beth discovered this organization during her initial search for secular or alternative recovery pathways. She has spoken at many of their conferences and praises their approach.
- Mentioned as: An early, non-12-step recovery alternative she found at the library in the 1990s, still active today.
- womenforsobriety.org
SMART Recovery
- Mary Beth refers to this as one of the modern secular alternatives in recovery, tracing its origins to a parent organization she encountered early in her sobriety.
- Mentioned as: A secular/multiple-pathway recovery resource.
- smartrecovery.org
LifeRing Secular Recovery
- Mary Beth is on the board of directors for this organization. She shares its philosophy and her personal connection—she used its predecessor materials early in her recovery.
- Mentioned as: A secular recovery support option, focusing on personalized recovery plans and individual empowerment.
- lifering.org
She Recovers Foundation
- Mary Beth is also a board member for this group, which supports women recovering not just from substances but also other life issues (e.g., trauma, eating disorders, overwork). The organization is recommended for those with overlapping recovery needs.
- Mentioned as: An inclusive peer support option, not limited to substance use recovery.
- sherecovers.org
Sober October and Dry January
- Both are referenced as public health and self-reflection campaigns where people abstain from alcohol (and/or substances) for a month to gain insights into their relationship with substances.
- Mentioned as: Self-assessment challenges that can give one clarity about substance use.
- More on Sober October
- More on Dry January
Apps for Tracking Alcohol Consumption and Spending
- When discussing strategies to monitor and honestly assess drinking, Mary Beth mentions there are apps for tracking alcohol consumption and spending, which can be eye-opening.
- Apple App Store | Google Play Store
Beyond Addiction (book)
- Mary Beth recommends this book to friends and families of those struggling with addiction. It’s based on CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), offering an alternative to tough love.
- Mentioned as: A recommended best-practice resource for family members, providing evidence-based support strategies.
- Grab a copy
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Score/Study
- Mary Beth references the ACE score in the context of childhood trauma, addiction risk, and related outcomes. While not a single “book” or “movie,” it’s a standardized study and tool in this space.
- ACE Quiz
- Another great podcast episode to check out #339 – Unpacking trauma | The Peter Attia Drive Podcast
Promiscuity, Sexual Assault, and Drug Addiction (Mary Beth’s published article)
- Mary Beth mentions just having had a piece published (on her website) exploring the association between high ACE scores, sexual assault, and later life behavioral outcomes.
M.A.P.S. (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies)
MAPS is a nonprofit founded in 1986 to build and share a blueprint for legal, responsible, evidence‑based pathways to psychedelics. Its mission is to provide public resources and leadership for psychedelic research, education, and policy reform (MAPS).
Key pillars include advancing clinical research on MDMA, LSD, ibogaine, ayahuasca, and marijuana; advocating for drug policy reform and harm reduction; and evolving public and professional education through conferences, publications, and the Virtual Trip platform (MAPS).
To date MAPS has incubated what may become the first FDA‑approved psychedelic‑assisted therapy, hosted the largest Psychedelic Science conference, and published a suite of integration resources for therapists and individuals (MAPS).
MAPS envisions a world where psychedelics and marijuana are safely and legally available for beneficial uses under rigorous scientific evaluation, always prioritizing public benefit, equity, and compassion (MAPS).
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